What do you want?

This is a question I've asked myself and I've asked friends. I'm surprised at my own and others relative inability to really answer it.

So I'm asking you now. What do you want? 

Not for lunch. Not for your birthday. Not for your next job or paycheck, but holistically, in your life, as your life...

What do you want?

This answer for me, and probably for most people, has changed throughout my life. One of the things I love actually, about getting older, is that I feel less...uncertain, insecure, and wishy-washy about such things.

You see, I realized something the other night and it feels as though my life has shifted.

It was Monday. Just a seemingly normal Monday night. Though I have had experience with Mondays disguised as normal. A few years back I used to have what I called a songwriters circle Monday nights, though it really was a gathering of friends, and a few of us were musicians and a few were musically inclined. I was one of the musician/songwriters, as was my friend James and a few others who happened by from time to time. Some of the other regulars could carry a tune, so they'd sing back up or improvise lead, and a few others could play a song or two on guitar, or hold a beat on a random bucket we found in the back room. Since this took place at a restaurant, we had some accouterments at our fingertips. Anyway, it was always Monday nights. We'd start around 10pm and sometimes go until 2am. Just hanging, playing music, talking, sharing new songs, sharing whatever. The guys had already dubbed the night "Magic Mondays" and I was lucky enough to be included in the magic. For the 5 months it was without a doubt, my favorite night of the week. We had to stop because of venue issues. One of the first things I'll do when I have a bigger, more conducive place is reinstate (music) Magic Mondays.

Well, two nights ago for me was my own, semi-private, epiphany-charged Magic Monday.

I was in hypnotherapy class with this guy Joe Leeway. Nice guy. Pretty good teacher/speaker. Also, he's an NLP practitioner and hypnotherapist, which are all right up my alley. (NLP= Neuro-Linguistic Programming. More on NLP in Joe's link below and in future blogs. Here's wikipedia on NLP.) Earlier that day I had also finished the Agassi book Open (that I blogged about in Monday's blog Andre Agassi is now Open), and as you all know I was inspired by the book and especially the school he opened. Also, I've been recording music at home and this week working on an original song called Over You, working out regularly, and writing this blog. The perfect storm of taking care of myself, self-expression, music creating, and inspiration from other people's stories. What happens next? In walks Joe Leeway and his line, which seems from out of no where, but is perfect for what I needed to hear in that moment.

Ask your clients what they want. Nine of out ten people walking around out there don't know what they want. Those people, the one out of ten, rule the world because they know what they want. (Joe Leway's hypnotherapy page)

And it hits me. What I want. It was like the proverbial light bulb.

I want wealth and fame so that I may do what I want and create a happier, more beautiful, peaceful, spiritual world.

In other words, I want to help myself and other people to be happier and more fulfilled, and I want the proper leverage to do so in a big way. Simultaneously I had a vision of standing in front of a big room of people while they break into small groups and work this question out with each other.

For years I've been doing this dance around being a professional musician. Thinking I wanted success and notoriety as a musician, or more than I already have, but I didn't have clarity on why even though I had a sense that I wanted to help people. I perceived becoming a famous rock star as a largely self-centered goal. No wonder it hasn't come to fruition yet. I also had moments in the past of, who are you to think you can help people. Yow! Not very friendly thinking to myself. Also, not very helpful or encouraging.

Maybe it's the hypnotherapy training or my spiritual psychology degree; maybe it's the music playing at home or the daily writing to all of you out there (who are you, anyway?!?); maybe it's years of meditating and kundalini yoga, or maybe it's simply growing up a bit; maybe it was just a surprise Magic Monday. Likely it was all of those things combined. Suddenly, all that negative stuff just fell away in that moment. I was filled with clarity, relief and gratitude.

I'm enjoying my home life more than ever. I vacuumed the next day and I usually don't like to vacuum. It was kind of enjoyable. I recorded Monday night and again yesterday (Tuesday). Usually Marcus prompts me to record, but yesterday I was the one urging us to get the vocal tracks down.

I'm curious to see how it will all unfold. Marcus likes to tell his students, and I suppose I'm one of them if only during our martial arts classes, "maintain your practices." What he means by this is that as people become more successful, healthy and happy; logically their life shifts, and they sometimes eliminate the very things, usually personal things, that supported them becoming more healthy, successful, and happy. Like eating healthy, meditating, hypnosis, affirmations, doing a good deed every day, spending time with loved ones, creating time for writing or exercise or creative expression. Those kinds of things - whatever they are for you. They are the foundation of your life. Take them away, and the whole structure collapses - the structure you built. Whether or not we're aware of it, we're always practicing something. Might as well practice the good stuff. So that's what I'm up to, I'm maintaining my practices.

You'll hear how it goes. Trust me.

So...

What do you want?

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