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Saturday, February 27, 2010

Bravo, Stephen Colbert & Co! and your Olympic Vancouverage

If you missed this week of The Colbert Report, you can watch episodes either on Comedy Central's website for The Colbert Report, Colbert Nation, or on Hulu (where you'll suffer only 2-3 commercials per episode. (No, I'm not sponsored by either one of these organizations, I just like to make things easy for my readers.)

Stephen Colbert and Co. (Co being his writers and staff) did a fantastic job this week not covering the Olympic games. They Vancouveraged them. But right here I'd like to just point out the absurdity of copyright law. Apparently, NBC paid $820 million for exclusive rights to use the "O" word. (No, not orgasms. Please see previous blogs for those kinds of topics, people! This is serious, olympic, athletic business here on this blog!) What this means, as far as this very un-legal gal understands, is that no other broadcast station can proclaim on-air that they're covering the Olympic games of 2010. Only NBC-owned-or-affiliated stations can say that. Also, no other non-NBC-owned-or-affiliated stations can even show the Olympic rings without risking being sued. Sillyness, huh? That's copyright for you. I wonder how that applies to print. I suspect it doesn't since newspapers seem to be freely reporting on the winter Olympics, but who reads a newspaper (besides online) nowadays anyways? Besides, of course, my parents... and anyone retired and over age 60. Don't get me wrong, I actually love newspapers. There's a fantastic visceral experience that comes with reading an actual newspaper (as opposed to reading news on the computer or watching news on television). I just love trees more than that visceral experience. Especially considering I would sometimes miss reading the paper on certain days and would subsequently feel a bit wasteful. If they printed newspapers on hemp, a crop that grows, aptly, like a weed, and actually replenishes the soil (unlike corn that reaps & drys out soil - please see the movies Food, Inc. & The Union for more) I might be more inclined to subscribe to a newspaper...but I digress.

Back on topic, here's how Colbert got around that little legality and are avoiding being sued.

Exclusive Vancouverage of the 2010
Quadrennial Cold Weather Athletic Competition...
Defeat The World!

Colbert's brother, who is a copyright attorney and recent guest on the show to advise little bro Stephen on said laws, said if he were the Olympic attorney he'd still sue for the aforementioned Exclusive Vancouverage of the 2010 Quadrennail Cold Weather Athletic Competition... but that Colbert would likely win.

Bravo, Colbert & Co! Not just for comedy or creativity, though you deserve high marks for that. But I celebrate you because you skirt (or luge around the fastest corner) the line of copyright legality (truly one of the most boring of all legalities - which really is saying something) in the name of humor, entertainment, and most importantly, supporting world competition and athleticism. Could we just do this whole athletic competition thing instead of war? We'd still get our aggressions out. Oh, wait. It's not as profitable. NBC's set to loose money on this one, and Halliburton simply would not tolerate that. War's more profitable than the Olympics. Chew on that next time you decide to exercise...Oh wait, chew on that next time you watch TV. Since if you're an average American, you're likely to spend more time watching television than exercising.

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