Hydrate

My addendum to yesterday's blog: Forgive, Keep Moving, Stay Present & Eat Healthy.

For anyone interested in what happened after my pseudo-mother-in-law went to the hospital, we have one more thing to add to yesterday's list of lessons learned looking at the winter side of life.

Forgive, Keep Moving, Stay Present, Eat Healthy...

and

Hydrate.

There are actually different theories about water drinking and some think we can get all of our water needs from our food. The problem with buying into that philosophy is that you need to have a very hydrating diet in order for that to actually work. We're talking about daily: over 1/2 gallon of raw milk and half a pound of raw butter (aka farm fresh or unpasteurized), or lots of raw fruits and vegetables. Most people don't eat enough of those things to stay hydrated. Even though many fruits are very watery - like the obvious watermelon, cucumbers and tomatoes, the water from them will hydrate somewhat but only if the fruits are raw and unadulterated. Keep in mind here that it takes water to digest protein, sugar and fiber, so if the fruit has sugar added to it, like fruit cups, or it's extremely fibrous, like a banana, it takes equal amounts of water to digest as is in the fruit itself, or it may even borrow water from your body to aide in digestion.

So drink water, people. And try to avoid water with fluoride and chlorine (most tap water) as these are not only poisonous, but they acidify your water, which won't hydrate you as well as water closer to your own pH (which should be 7.3 - just slightly alkaline).

You see, once we talked to the doctor, it turns out that the primary issue with Marcus' Mom was dehydration. Makes sense because she doesn't really like to drink water regularly. After the hospital pumped fluids into her intravenously, her pain subsided, she got her appetite back and she was much more coherent.

I forgot how much dehydration can fubar a person up. Apparently the early signs of dehydration are
dizziness, lack of coordination and concentration (often coupled with slurring), cramping, loss of appetite and shaky hands. The more extreme signs of dehydration are severe weakness and muscle fatigue where you simple cannot do normal, everyday things, loss of balance, and body aches. The most extreme signs are kidney failure and blood clots.

It's also worth noting that when someone is already weaker and more sedentary, like an older woman might be, they go faster to extreme dehydration than a younger, more robust person. Though Marcus' Mom walked stairs for exercise as recently as one month ago, her exercise routine has slowly diminished over the last few years to where she's only doing light exercise once or twice every two weeks. Not enough to stay healthy. For an older person, even going for a moderate, 30-45 minute walk 5 days a week will help ward-off all kinds of ailments that plague older people.

All in all, the doctors say there's nothing wrong with her that they can find after blood tests, a CT-scan and their battery of neurological questions... other than dehydration and her sodium levels being too low. Overall, it looks like the diet really is working.

So, my thanksgiving day involved calling in about half a dozen paramedics to help my elderly pseudo-mother-in-law get to the hospital so she didn't have to sit in her own pooh/pee. And then relaxing the rest of the day with Marcus, too tired for the first time in my life to prepare Thanksgiving dinner.

But I figure the date is arbitrary, and we're planning a thanksgiving feast another day.

And what better way to be thankful than to deal with a loved one having a difficult time.

So, I'm thankful. For my loved ones. For how agile and mobile I am. For the fact that I can pooh and pee on my own. For the fact that my relationship can thrive even in the face of a temporarily (fingers crossed/pray to Goddess) invalid parent. For my health. For my talent. For my friends and loved ones. And for all of you, subscribing.

Pandering a bit? Maybe. But I really am glad that when I click "publish post" it goes out there...even if the pool of you is currently smaller than I'd like, I take comfort in the knowing that you are out there, reading.

Now go drink some water.

Forgive, Keep Moving, Stay Present & Eat Healthy

My grandparents all passed before I graduated high school, if memory serves. My maternal grandfather when I was in grade-school, my grandmothers both passed in junior high/early high school, and my paternal grandfather passed when my father was in high school. You see, my parents were in their thirties when they started having children; old for the time and generation. Their parents were slightly older too.

I've missed slightly having grandparents as an adult. It's probably similar to not having an appendix or tonsils. You can't exactly feel that it's not there, but it feels like something is missing...

Probably to appease this, I made friends with an older woman when I lived in San Diego while in college, and when I say older, I mean older. Helen was an octogenarian when we met. She was so delighted that I was her friend. Not her children's or her grandchildren's friend, but her friend. Ten years ago she started as my client when I had my own business as a personal trainer, and we remained friends until she died about a year ago. The last time I had lunch with her she told me, "I'm happier than I've ever been."

I asked what she attributed that to and she said, "I've forgiven all the people in my life that I ever thought did me wrong...and I've forgiven myself for any mistakes I thought I made....I miss my husband [of 60 years who died about 10 years ago] sometimes, and think it might be nice to have a male companion of some sort, but my life is very full and very happy."

Marcus and I have been together for almost two years, and in that time I've gotten to know his mother fairly well. Fiercely independent, the only thing she dislikes more than asking for help is being told what to do. We've been encouraging her to keep moving, be social and mostly, to stay present since she has a tendency to stress herself out with worrying about the future and ruminating about the past. But, she's stubbornly gotten to the point now where she hurt her back and neck, and can't take care of herself. We are hopeful that with some prescription pain medicine, good restorative sleep, and care from doctors she'll be able to recover and be mostly independent again. But today I had to call paramedics to come get her and bring her to the hospital, because the pain in her back and neck due to a recent fall and the subsequent tension she created from not being able to get herself up, has made it virtually impossible to do everyday necessities like getting up to go to the bathroom, lying down, and preparing food.

In case you're wondering why Marcus didn't do this, well, he was still hooked up to his dialysis machine. Also, those of you who know me well know that I'll do what I can to help my loved ones in need. I went to help her this morning as Marcus was unable, and it turned out she thought it was time to call for help.

Imagine not being able to get up out of bed.

After the small circus of paramedics left with my pseudo-mother-in-law, I cried a little and then had a mini-epiphany.

We have to keep moving. Always and forever. Even when there's pain and even when we don't want to.

Also, we have to stay present. Ruminating about the past and worrying about the future don't really do anyone any good. It's not productive and it just creates stress and tension.

Eat healthy, but that's not enough by itself. She eats very healthy. Possibly one of the healthiest diets on the planet as she's almost 100% organic, eats only meat and protein that's unaltered by antibiotics, hormones or strange feed (she only eats free-range, grass-fed meat and poultry), and plenty of organic vegetables and unrefined grains. Her stats are good. The paramedics tested her before they took her to the hospital: her blood pressure was low and she responded to all their standard coherency and body-response tests.

But she a) doesn't move enough, b) stresses herself out with worry and paranoia and c) has become anti-social. The healthy diet will postpone some of these symptoms, but if you don't practice these other things, eventually it will come bite you in your wrinkled-old ass.

Having a partner is a huge asset. Huge. My parents are close to her age, and they're much more mobile even though they have some worry, pain and discomfort. Think about it - it's much easier to get locked into worry and fear when you're left to your own devices. Having a partner who looks out for you and you for them helps to mitigate some of the self-defeating thoughts and behaviors. Also, it can help keep you present. Next time your boy or girlfriend says something funny, just try to worry about the future or ruminate about the past. Friends are good for keeping us present too.

To close, I'm fatigued. Usually I edit my writing before sending it into the blogosphere, but I'm simply too tired to care to do that this time.

Please, for anyone out there reading this and for myself too...

Forgive.


Keep Moving.


Stay Present.

Eat healthy. 

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Share this and/or call someone you love.