Well...
How glorious are you?
This is one of the best and most important questions that has ever been asked of me, and, in my opinion, can ever be asked of anyone.
Marcus asked me this when we first started dating. The context of the conversation was around my feeling a little crummy about a new female friend sort of disappearing from my life. I was telling Marcus that a big part of me was fine with not being her friend because though she was a fabulous girl, she tended to over-analyze things and bring out the analyst in me. But another smaller part of me felt bad that I had offended her when I snapped at her twice - once while looking for a place to eat (she hadn't learned yet that I can be a psycho hose beast when I have low blood sugar) and I told her, Shush! I got this; and once while we were working on invitations for a party and it was last minute and late and I was tired and I got all irritated and pissy (I don't recall what I said but I explained something in a very perfunctory way). I felt a little bad about how I behaved because a) it was abnormal for me, and b) I feel like no excuse is a good excuse to be pissy or rude with people. But also felt like I should probably let go of anyone who doesn't get me enough to know that overall I'm loving and my intentions are good.
Being that Marcus and I were at the beginning of our relationship, his feedback was unexpected, as I was expecting something more action-oriented about the specific situation (which seems to be semi-standard feedback in the world). Instead, he said,
"Well, you just feel this way because you're forgetting how glorious you are.
(pause) (I think I swallowed, knowing something was coming and trying to prepare myself.)
"Because if you knew how glorious you are, you would never even question or be bothered by something like this."
I happened to be driving on Cloverfield, about to get on highway 10. As I applied the brake to stop at a red light, the initial issue from the context of the situation and rambling though-response to this question which consisted of, "I'm a good friend. I try my best to be a good person. I try to do the right thing. I work hard. I'm kind..." Marcus expanded with something like, "glorious is a feeling and something that is intrinsic in all of us, a natural way of being, not something you do or try..." Well, all of it just melted away, including Marcus' voice (not an easy task for those of you who know Marcus and know how loud he can be).It all melted away, because in that moment I got it. I felt it. I knew viscerally, that
I was glorious.
Tears welled up in my eyes and I was glad to be at a long red light so I could get my sight back before driving more. (Which I did shortly thereafter with ease. Though I recommend pulling over if this happens to you while you're driving.)
I think I said something to the effect of, and the tears are even welling now as I write this:
"I know I'm glorious...
Because I can be present with loved ones when they just need love. It's the way I help my friends when they need support. It's the way I laugh...at myself, at anything, at nothing...It's the way I smile. It's the way I am."
I literally felt warmth and assurance throughout my body in that moment. I went on to describe an experience from a few months prior with a dear friend and old boyfriend. He and I were together through his recovery from surgery and through his packing and preparation to leave Los Angeles (even though he didn't want to), because of finances and simply life circumstance. Shortly after he left LA, a good friend of his lost her only child to an act of random, drunken violence. A gun shot during a fight outside a bar, and her 21-year-old son was here no more. My old-beau went to visit and support his friend while she buried and grieved her son. He wrote me this message about three days into his trip to visit his mourning friend.
"I have been available and embracing and supportive of this woman and this family for no other reason than because they need it, and because I can... And because you taught me how. They'll never know what they have to thank you for."I remember receiving that message and realizing that even though this old beau and I were no longer together in the romantic, conventional sense, that I must be on the right track because I'm showing up in a way that is in alignment with how I want to be and how I want someone else to be with me in relationship. Shortly thereafter I got together with Marcus.
I ask this question from time to time of loved ones, but realize that no one has been able to really respond to that question in a visceral way. So I wanted to expand for them and for all of you out there in the ether.
Have you forgotten how glorious you are?
How glorious are you?
More Interesting Katie Strand World Posts
- The best reason for DONUTS
- Dr. Mercola recommends raw milk!
- We'd all be pillars of salt
- James Cameron was robbed!
- What do you want?
- The Real British Invasion or...Hey there Brit, how's your American accent?
- Andre Agassi is now Open
- Farts
- Love & Hate. Drugs & Rebellion.
- Occam's Razor - It's a Life & Faith Principle
- If Richard Pryor had a period...
- If you're prone to nudeness...
- Hello, my name is Temple Grandin.
- Blog tease, yelling to no one & the secret to long...
- My Addendum to "Choose a Job You Love...
- The Primal Diet & Running
- Chop Wood, Carry Water, Do Taxes
- The male member revealed
- Play with the Girls
- How to tame the psycho hose beast
- Oh boy, that's a good question! or How to Deal with the Census
- These boots were made for walking
- If I were a Ninja, I'd wear these shoes
- How my friend Sally became the new First Lady
- My Boyfriend has Autism...Maybe
- Raw Primal Papaya Custard - The Nectar of the Gods
- And All the Cows Said Moo!
- If you were John Mayer, you would too
- Tiredness - Varieties of and unforeseen side-effects
- Foreplay is overrated
- Food should be As God Intended or Why isn't everything we eat organic?
- Yelling - One of the Highest Forms of Compassion
- The Cove - Louie Psihoyos' Oscar speech & a guide on how to create change...
- My Favorite Things...Arrabiata Recipe - Fresh, Organic, Vegan or Primal
- My Favorite Shows on Television...or how David Duchovney & Jesus are likely Good in Bed
- The Hawaiian Islands and Washington D.C.’s sand-paper circle-jerk about Health Care
- My Buddha has Termites...A Lesson in Infinite Joy
- The One-Date-Wonders!
- I had to learn SIGN LANGUAGE when I moved to Los Angeles
- Guys can make a game out of anything
- Hello? The power of CONNECTING and how technology has changed things
- Popping the question is better than porn!
- Bravo, Stephen Colbert & Co! and your Olympic Vancouverage
- Songwriting is like SEX
- Born To Run by Christopher McDougall - Inspiring a inspiring all of us to be more in the FLOW
- A moment of silence for all the plastic surgery casualties
- Ricky Gervais should be the new Simon on American Idol
- Muscle SURPRISE! The key to physical, mental & emotional fitness
- I think my boyfriend's a snake...
- Release... Sweat & Power
- MY FAVORITE THINGS! - Vibram's Five Fingers
- Dick Morris... How do you sleep at night?
- Rusty DePass, Gorillas, and Obama, oh my!
- Michael Jackson - Troubled Genius
Just what I needed today! Love you!
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