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Tuesday, April 27, 2010

It's all about interpretation



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The English language is funny for many reasons, but it also provides a lot of amusement when misinterpretations happen, as they inevitably will when a language has two words with vastly different meanings, but the exact same pronunciation, as in profit/prophet: The same as net income: total earnings less expenses; A person who speaks for god or a deity, or by divine inspiration. 

I've found the greatest chasms between myself (a native English speaker) and the non-native speaker. Recently, a young Korean gentleman from my volleyball class told me he was going to New York. I asked if he was going to a Broadway show and he said what sounded to me like, Jes, we go to Oprah. Confused, I looked at him and said, Oprah? He said, more emphatically, Op-er-ah. I still didn't get it, so I said, I didn't know Oprah had a show in New York. I thought she was based in Chicago. Are they doing Oprah's life story on Broadway? He smiled and said, no, O-per-a. Oh. I laughed. Opera. Like Mozart. Italian. Opera. Ha. Love communicating with foreigners. It's always fun.

A slightly smaller, though no less significant chasm often happens between men and women. The other day, I asked Marcus to bring me a glass of magnesium citrate. For anyone who doesn't know what magnesium does, the short version is that natural-occurring magnesium in our bodies gets used up because of normal life, and especially because of stress and exercise (hence electrolyte replenishment is all the rage for athletes and is a staple in sports drinks and IV bags - just wish the sports drinks didn't have so much processed sugar and/or high-fructose corn syrup which are definitely not good for us). Magnesium also helps us calm down and very mildly helps us to sleep. Besides balancing our system - stress, exercise and sleep - magnesium citrate does one other very important thing. It helps us pooh more easily. Now I've been taking magnesium for several months now, and I definitely notice that it helps me to fall asleep, but I've noticed the biggest difference in my elimination. Besides eating a diet high in the healthy fats (which many experts say is more important than fiber for elimination), the magnesium definitely makes my number two-ing nice and easy... but not too easy. Nobody likes their number twos to be too easy am I right? (Do I really have to use the word diarrhea? Geesh. I guess I do. Nobody likes diarrhea. Well, nobody I know. Except maybe my friend Andy, and he doesn't so much like it as he likes to talk about anything involving bodily functions. No wonder he became a doctor. He nicknamed is old, brown, beat-up jeep number 3. Think about it. He had to explain it to most people. Number 3 is the combination of number 1 & number 2. Ewe, Andy.)


But back to the story.

On the night in question, I was already comfortably in bed, so I asked Marcus to bring me a glass of magnesium. I told him to just put one tablespoon of the powder in the glass with water. He said ok.

He comes back with my magnesium, and if I were smarter in that moment, I only would've downed half of that glass because it tasted stronger than usual (it has a relatively pleasant citrus taste). The next day I probably should have proposed to the toilet I was on it so much. I scolded Marcus and vowed never to let him get my magnesium for me ever again. Then I inquired, did you use the tablespoon? He said yes, of course. I said, the WHITE tablespoon, you know the one for baking? He said, No, I used a regular big spoon. That's a tablespoon, right? I did a very long and obvious eye-roll, then said, honnney (guys, you know how this honey sounds and it's one-third term-of-endearment, two-thirds pejorative) you're supposed to use the white, more exact tablespoon, not the large, eating spoons! What did you think that just because it was ON THE TABLE that it counted as a TABLEspoon!?!"

At this point we both started laughing, though I was the only one holding my stomach.

My body recovered within 24 hours and I've been solely responsible for prepping my nightly magnesium, but I thought this was so perfect an illustration of how interpretation factors in during even the most simple of every day interactions. So often we believe the other person knows what we are talking about, but so much in life, our interactions, observations, and even our inner commentary on the world, is all about interpretation

It's a good argument for taking everything less seriously.

But please, and this really is important, remember to use the proper tablespoon.

By the way, our favorite, most bio-available, easily absorbed, and fortunately reasonably priced magnesium citrate is Natural Calm by Peter Gillham's Natural Vitality. Get the plain/original/natural flavor via the link. The flavored ones might add a little sweetener which is unnecessary and not as healthy as the plain.)










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