Ricky Gervais should be the new Simon on American Idol

Firstly, let me just say I am not one of millions of Americans addicted to American Idol. As a musician, songwriter, singer, pianist and guitarist, hubris often takes over and prevents me from really getting involved. Also, once they're done traveling the country on auditions, I get kind of bored with the karaoke-ness of the show. But I do understand why it's appealing. Watching people fail and succeed in an exaggerated way is exciting and enticing for most Americans. Also, hearing songs you recognize is also nice for most people. So, I get it.

About Simon leaving the show. As much as I'd love to see his spot go to an American, because even though I love Brits generally and in entertainment, they seem to be taking over our television shows, and I'd like jobs to go to my countrymen. Anyway, I think the absolute best choice for Simon Cowell's replacement is Ricky Gervais.

Here's why:

1. He's fearless when it comes to saying what he thinks. Did you all see The Golden Globes? He was completely unapologetic about making fun of everyone and his industry. He is completely irreverent about celebrity and manufactured fame.
   
2. On the Golden Globes, he drank beer on the job, which is sort of an essential for the resident as$hole.
   
3. He has a british accent, which everyone knows makes everything (to Americans) sound better. Insults, being told off, cursing, all sounds so much more refined and acceptable to Yankee ears. Man I wish he'd record my outgoing message for me.
4. If American Idol contestants can survive a Ricky Gervais tongue-lashing, they might actually be able to handle fame, criticism, and the paparazzi.

The only foreseeable problem is that I think Ricky Gervais is actually a really nice guy. Especially when it comes to dealing with normal, everyday people. So he may not be able to look in the faces of these American Idol hopefuls and tell them that they suck. I suppose Ricky is the only one who could really weigh-in on this potentiality. Ricky, could you do it? Could you tell some 22 year old who just sang her heart out on national television that her rendition of "I Will Survive" was just bloody awful? That some guy's version of "Wanted Dead or Alive" was just abysmal? Hmm. Ricky, weigh-in for us, will you?


But still, why hasn't anyone offered the soon-to-be open slot at the American Idol judges table to Ricky Gervais?
He's perfect.
Oh, but give me credit for the idea, ya wankers.