Dick Morris... How do you sleep at night?

Must be with a serious cocktail of Bourbon laced with OxyContin...

People, I didn't mean for this blog to be political, but I feel like I have no choice here. First Rusty DePass makes his absurd, racist and rude comments about Gorillas and Michelle Obama. I thought we'd hit a new conservative-sh*t-slinging low, but once again, my low-expectations were much to high for the conservative media and their go-to journalists and politicians.

The infraction I speak of, of course, is Dick Morris' vile opinion spewing on Fox News regarding the release of Laura and Euna Ling from their 140-day detainment in North Korea; thanks in no small part to Bill Clinton's meeting with North Korea's Kim Jung Il.

I agree that any representative of the United States negotiating for the release of one of our citizens - journalist or otherwise, shouldn't compromise the safety or wellfare of other American citizens or civil liberties for said release. But there is no evidence this was done by Clinton or anyone else involved in the release of the Ling sisters. If a photo-op with Bill Clinton, and some positive press for North Korea - in the slew of negative-press about North Korea - is the price we've paid for the release of these two women, then maybe we should send Clinton and a photographer over to Iraq, because I'd like to see the stop-lossed soldiers home, with their families and with their full G.I. Bill.

What if this was you, or one of your family members? I feel certain you'd retort with something like, "Well, my family members and I would never go into North Korea, so this wouldn't happen to us..." But, come on. First of all, you should be ashamed for siding with North Korea and saying these women should "face the consequences" of their excursion into North Korea. Because that's what you're doing - siding with North Korea and implying that their sentencing of these women was fair. Secondly, is this the legacy you want to leave with your name? You have some health issues, I can tell just by looking at you, and I truly am sorry because I wouldn't wish bad health on anyone. But regardless of your state of health, you are in the latter part of your life, so I'd think seriously about what you're saying and how you're portraying yourself to the world. I again ask this very serious question, Is this the legacy you want to leave with your name? Because it's an ugly, heartless legacy, and I'm sure you are not, wholly, a heartless man. So what gives, Dick Morris?

Also, as far as "facing the consequences," isn't 140 days long enough a punishment for crossing into North Korea?

I'm getting more frustrated the more I reflect on this. How about this, Dick Morris. I bet we could find someone to simulate a North Korean detention center for this little experiment. How about someone gets you and subjects you to the same treatment and conditions Laura and Euna were subjected to. Let's see how you handle it for 140 days. Before this experiment, we'll give you some fake information on nuclear war-heads, but you won't know it's fake, and we'll see how long it takes you to a) crack, and b) beg for Bill Clinton to come meet with Kim Jong Il on your behalf. See how long it takes. I'd bet you'd last 5 days on the outset. Maybe a week if you got to hide your OxyContin in a cigar tube up your you-know-what. But I'd never really condone doing this to you, because that would be cruel and heartless. I suppose it's punishment enough you have to live with yourself day-in and day-out.

How do you sleep at night?

Rusty DePass, Gorillas, and Obama, oh my!

Rusty DePass, Gorillas, and Obama, oh my!

I was completely shocked when I heard about Rusty DePass and his racist comments. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, here's the background of the story, originally from Rusty's facebook page, then WIS news, and of course, The Daily Show and CNN. (Daily Show segment on this was on August 3, 2009.)

After an aide to state Attorney General Henry McMaster detailed the escape of the gorilla from Columbia's Riverbanks Zoo, DePass responded with a comment: "I'm sure it's just one of Michelle's ancestors - probably harmless."

DePass later admitted to WIS News that he was referring to Michelle Obama and said, "I am as sorry as I can be if I offended anyone. The comment was clearly in jest."

DePass, who was a county co-chair for Rudy Giuliani's 2008 campaign, supported the push to impeach President Bill Clinton in the late 90s, writing in an op-ed for The State, "Do Republicans have higher moral standards than Democrats?"

Alright. I'll be the first to admit that my sense of humor can be a little on-the-fringe. I enjoy comedians who aren't afraid of addressing subjects that are controversial. In fact, I think it's important to do so. I appreciate and laugh with Richard Pryor, Lewis Black, Sarah Silverman, Louis C.K., Chris Rock, Kevin Hart, and Jo Koy, who all, in their own style, talk about things we're not supposed to talk about in society. I enjoy their off-the-beaten-path humor and even the wrongness of it, because they're often pointing out the idiosyncrasies of our culture, and illustrating what it's like to live in a diverse and often absurd world. But they're comedians, and ultimately they'll make fun of themselves just as quickly as politics, racial stereotypes, and minorities. The a*s DePass said something that would never be found funny, in even the smallest of stand-up venues. For him to say it was "in jest" was a political move, and nothing more. His racist blood runs as thick as the mud of the south, and I, for one, am not laughing.

Apparently he's a GOP activist and former chair of some state elections commission or some such thing. Jeez. I love this country for many reasons, the most salient of all is the First Amendment/Freedom of Speech. So I understand why this man must be allowed to go on existing, and speaking his mind...But don't apologize for it you schmuck, and don't pretend like you didn't mean it. Your racism is palatable and potent. I guess you just didn't realize you weren't living in the 1950s. You know we abolished slavery, right? As well as Jim Crow laws and the whole "separate but equal" doctrine. All those things have been ruled unconstitutional. Surprised you didn't know that, being a former public-official and all.

Anyway. Generally, I'm open and flexible about humor, and even politics. We could all do better to take ourselves less seriously, but this, my fellow Americans, is blasphemy of the highest order. Impeach this guy. Oh wait, I guess we have no reason to, since he probably hasn't received a BJ since Jim Crow laws were in effect.

One last note. Do you know what GOP stands for? It's a republican party nickname, but it seems the majority of Americans (in a pole I did among four guys I know), don't know what it actually stands for. GOP stands for "Grand Old Party."