I suppose these things are markers in our life - checkpoints that we frame our life around...
But as I'm growing up, I'm becoming more and more aware of how many youthful ideals, driven by culture and media, are either flawed or total bullshit!
The notion that life is all about these landmark events can take us completely out of the moment because we're too busy focusing on getting a proposal, a wedding, a graduation, or proper Valentine's day.
Life is not an event.
If anything life is made up of moments, often unplanned and on some regular, ordinary Tuesday.
Enjoying whatever is happening right now, right where you're at, is the beginning to debunking the big event life focus.
Breathing, right now, and really focusing on the inhale as it flows into the exhale (and repeat) also works to debunk the importance of someone wishing or not wishing you a happy birthday.
I don't know if I'm communicating this in a coherent way...
In my life, looking for those events that I've been told are the highlights, the important things has acted against me being happy, calm, peaceful and joyful in the moment - as I'm looking forward or backward at any note-worthy event.
Healing too is not an event. We look for shifts, we look for changes, but really, healing is not an event, it's a process that goes on for a very long time. Releasing weight is not an event. It takes time to change a body's homeostasis.
Even love is not an event. Sure, I remember how Marcus and I met and I remember the first time he told me he loved me. But our relationship is as rich as it is because of all the moments we share together - most of them away from a big life event - that compile to create a partnership that is worth both of us sticking with each other. If it were just about the meeting, anniversary and romantic holidays, one or both of us probably would've bailed a long time ago. But when you find joy and fun within the random moments of each day and week, that is a love and partnership worth sticking around for.
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