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Friday, January 9, 2015

Muffin-Top Close-Ups, Angelina Jolie & Julia Roberts


Like most women in this country, I saw the movie Eat, Pray, Love.

How much fun must it have been to make this film? Italy, India, Bali, Julia Roberts, Richard Jenkins, and Javier Bardem. The actors seem fun, and though I know better – the crew contributes to the good-times of the filmmaking as much as the actors – the locations alone would’ve been worth it.

But one thing that really gets to me about Eat, Pray, Love is that it blatantly lies.

How? Well, the dialogue doesn’t match the visual in one very important, noticeable scene – especially for my fellow female viewers. And let’s face it, most viewers of Eat, Pray, Love were women (and the men they blackmailed with sex into seeing the movie).

Examples of more subtle lies are when actresses like Angelina Jolie play a role like Salt when their arms are so skinny, they probably couldn’t even manage one pull-up, let alone kicking ass or killing innumerable federal agents and Russian spies. Seriously? By the look of her arms, Angelina likely strains lifting a half-gallon carton of non-fat organic almond milk.

But in Eat, Pray, Love the lie isn’t subtle or inferred...

There’s a scene with Julia and her blonde gal-pal eating Pizza Margherita in Naples (my all-time favorite type of pizza, by the way – though I’ve never had it in Naples), and they share that they both have “muffin-tops.” According to Urban Dictionary:

Muffin Top: When a woman wears a pair of tight jeans that makes her flab spill out over the waistband. Just like the top of a muffin sits over the edge of the paper case.

After the pizza-scene, Julia and her friend go to a boutique to get new jeans. It shows the two girls helping each other, struggling to button their new jeans.

Firstly, if someone has to help me button my jeans, I’m going one size up. No questions asked. Secondly, check the picture. Do you see any muffin top?



Now it’s worth noting that I am not a skinny-girl-hater. In fact, I’ve been called a “skinny bitch” more than once by women who were speaking with vitriol of my weight more than my disposition. One friend even erroneous called me “petite.” Well, at 5 feet, 8 inches, I can assure you I do not qualify as petite, but English is her second language and for her, petite means skinny.

While I wouldn’t describe myself as skinny, I probably am skinny in the eyes of many people. At one time I bench-pressed 140 pounds, my legs can press a lot (my dad once told me I had muscular “thunder-thighs” – thanks Dad), and I can pull-up my own body weight from a straight-arm hang. With these things in mind, I’d more accurately describe my body as muscular, athletic or fit. It’s also worth noting that skinny girls can have muffin tops. It’s more about the fit of the jeans squeezing our natural womanlyness into an unsightly lump above our jeans than actual girth.

Weightlifting noted, I do have hips and curves. And I can have, with the right (or wrong as the case may be) jeans, muffin top. So, like any woman who has natural lady-curves, I know how to identify muffin top when I see, or don’t see it, as is the case in Eat, Pray, Love.

Look, I understand that Julia’s body is part of her livelihood, and though the likes of Renee Zellweger and Christian Bale have gained and lost weight, sometimes severely, Julia Roberts is not one of those actresses who gains or looses weight for her roles, at least from what I’ve seen. Can’t say I blame her, as I like to maintain a healthy weight as well.

But the movie lied saying she had a muffin top. It would’ve actually been more honest if they’d used a body-double for the close-ups of the supposed muffin top. Believe me, there would be plenty of women who could’ve doubled with their muffin top.

So please, filmmakers, try to be honest. Tough, muscular, ass-kicking women everywhere scoff at the skinny arms and legs of women playing cops, secret agents and action heroines. Lift a dumbbell and eat some whey protein for crissakes. And I’m sure muffin-top-sporting women could use a day or two of work body-doubling for Julia Roberts, at least for the muffin-top close-ups.



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