The first rule of martial arts & how to let go of suffering...

Read to the end if you want to know the answer to the titular pondering.


I wish I could take credit for living and writing this. 


Not because I would wish for this experience myself, but because, like our friend Laura Munson, I've been working on ending my own suffering. Believe me, it's been met with resistance from my reactive mind. I've been doing The Tibetan Five and meditating most mornings, and that helps, but still, the stress/suffering still manages to creep in.... despite my best meditation & tibetan-laced efforts to let it go. The result being - I see how absurd my "suffering" is, but still feel distressed.


Does everyone understand what I mean by absurd? I wish I could describe it adequately, but the best I can do right now is: The absurdity of my suffering is that it's usually over something that is NOT actually life-threatening. Student or credit card loans are common ones, as well as: my car has to go into the shop again?!? The basics are actually handled right now. Food. Shelter. Clothing (too much, in fact). Love. 


So why suffer? Well, the best I can tell is it's some malfunction in the computer program. Historically, we've called this ego or reactive mind. While it might be useful for surviving in the wild when a saber-toothed tiger is after you, it doesn't prove especially useful in modern society, where there's a bevy of things to "stress" about, but hardly any that actually threaten our survival.


Funny thing is, the more research I do about health and the state of the world, the more I'm cleaning up my act about how I eat and live. But I don't stress about those things. They're almost too big for my processor, so I stress about the things that appear to be under my jurisdiction. 


Silly, huh?


Anyway, all of this rambling is just mental fourplay for the thing I actually meant for you all to read. My friend Lisa sent this to me two years ago and I was going through old email in an effort to clean up my computer and I came across this article and remembered how much I liked it when I read it. Thanks for sharing this with me, Lis. I have a feeling this will strike a particularly loud chord with some of you married folks out there.


I like it for many reasons, especially that it reminded me how we can actually choose whether we experience suffering or not.


Huh. Yeah, right. Tell that to my reactive mind.


August 2, 2009
Modern Love
Those Aren’t Fighting Words, Dear
By LAURA A. MUNSON

LET’S say you have what you believe to be a healthy marriage. You’re still friends and lovers after spending more than half of your lives together. The dreams you set out to achieve in your 20s — gazing into each other’s eyes in candlelit city bistros when you were single and skinny — have for the most part come true.

Two decades later you have the 20 acres of land, the farmhouse, the children, the dogs and horses. You’re the parents you said you would be, full of love and guidance. You’ve done it all: Disneyland, camping, Hawaii, Mexico, city living, stargazing.

Sure, you have your marital issues, but on the whole you feel so self-satisfied about how things have worked out that you would never, in your wildest nightmares, think you would hear these words from your husband one fine summer day: “I don’t love you anymore. I’m not sure I ever did. I’m moving out. The kids will understand. They’ll want me to be happy.”

But wait. This isn’t the divorce story you think it is. Neither is it a begging-him-to-stay story. It’s a story about hearing your husband say “I don’t love you anymore” and deciding not to believe him. And what can happen as a result.

Here’s a visual: Child throws a temper tantrum. Tries to hit his mother. But the mother doesn’t hit back, lecture or punish. Instead, she ducks. Then she tries to go about her business as if the tantrum isn’t happening. She doesn’t “reward” the tantrum. She simply doesn’t take the tantrum personally because, after all, it’s not about her.

Let me be clear: I’m not saying my husband was throwing a child’s tantrum. No. He was in the grip of something else — a profound and far more troubling meltdown that comes not in childhood but in midlife, when we perceive that our personal trajectory is no longer arcing reliably upward as it once did. But I decided to respond the same way I’d responded to my children’s tantrums. And I kept responding to it that way. For four months.

“I don’t love you anymore. I’m not sure I ever did.”

His words came at me like a speeding fist, like a sucker punch, yet somehow in that moment I was able to duck. And once I recovered and composed myself, I managed to say, “I don’t buy it.” Because I didn’t.

He drew back in surprise. Apparently he’d expected me to burst into tears, to rage at him, to threaten him with a custody battle. Or beg him to change his mind.

So he turned mean. “I don’t like what you’ve become.”

Gut-wrenching pause. How could he say such a thing? That’s when I really wanted to fight. To rage. To cry. But I didn’t.

Instead, a shroud of calm enveloped me, and I repeated those words: “I don’t buy it.”

You see, I’d recently committed to a non-negotiable understanding with myself. I’d committed to “The End of Suffering.” I’d finally managed to exile the voices in my head that told me my personal happiness was only as good as my outward success, rooted in things that were often outside my control. I’d seen the insanity of that equation and decided to take responsibility for my own happiness. And I mean all of it.

My husband hadn’t yet come to this understanding with himself. He had enjoyed many years of hard work, and its rewards had supported our family of four all along. But his new endeavor hadn’t been going so well, and his ability to be the breadwinner was in rapid decline. He’d been miserable about this, felt useless, was losing himself emotionally and letting himself go physically. And now he wanted out of our marriage; to be done with our family.

But I wasn’t buying it.

I said: “It’s not age-appropriate to expect children to be concerned with their parents’ happiness. Not unless you want to create co-dependents who’ll spend their lives in bad relationships and therapy. There are times in every relationship when the parties involved need a break. What can we do to give you the distance you need, without hurting the family?”

“Huh?” he said.

“Go trekking in Nepal. Build a yurt in the back meadow. Turn the garage studio into a man-cave. Get that drum set you’ve always wanted. Anything but hurting the children and me with a reckless move like the one you’re talking about.”

Then I repeated my line, “What can we do to give you the distance you need, without hurting the family?”

“Huh?”

“How can we have a responsible distance?”

“I don’t want distance,” he said. “I want to move out.”

My mind raced. Was it another woman? Drugs? Unconscionable secrets? But I stopped myself. I would not suffer.

Instead, I went to my desk, Googled “responsible separation” and came up with a list. It included things like: Who’s allowed to use what credit cards? Who are the children allowed to see you with in town? Who’s allowed keys to what?

I looked through the list and passed it on to him.

His response: “Keys? We don’t even have keys to our house.”

I remained stoic. I could see pain in his eyes. Pain I recognized.

“Oh, I see what you’re doing,” he said. “You’re going to make me go into therapy. You’re not going to let me move out. You’re going to use the kids against me.”

“I never said that. I just asked: What can we do to give you the distance you need ... ”

“Stop saying that!”

Well, he didn’t move out.

Instead, he spent the summer being unreliable. He stopped coming home at his usual six o’clock. He would stay out late and not call. He blew off our entire Fourth of July — the parade, the barbecue, the fireworks — to go to someone else’s party. When he was at home, he was distant. He wouldn’t look me in the eye. He didn’t even wish me “Happy Birthday.”

But I didn’t play into it. I walked my line. I told the kids: “Daddy’s having a hard time as adults often do. But we’re a family, no matter what.” I was not going to suffer. And neither were they.

MY trusted friends were irate on my behalf. “How can you just stand by and accept this behavior? Kick him out! Get a lawyer!”

I walked my line with them, too. This man was hurting, yet his problem wasn’t mine to solve. In fact, I needed to get out of his way so he could solve it.

I know what you’re thinking: I’m a pushover. I’m weak and scared and would put up with anything to keep the family together. I’m probably one of those women who would endure physical abuse. But I can assure you, I’m not. I load 1,500-pound horses into trailers and gallop through the high country of Montana all summer. I went through Pitocin-induced natural childbirth. And a Caesarean section without follow-up drugs. I am handy with a chain saw.

I simply had come to understand that I was not at the root of my husband’s problem. He was. If he could turn his problem into a marital fight, he could make it about us. I needed to get out of the way so that wouldn’t happen.

Privately, I decided to give him time. Six months.

I had good days, and I had bad days. On the good days, I took the high road. I ignored his lashing out, his merciless jabs. On bad days, I would fester in the August sun while the kids ran through sprinklers, raging at him in my mind. But I never wavered. Although it may sound ridiculous to say “Don’t take it personally” when your husband tells you he no longer loves you, sometimes that’s exactly what you have to do.

Instead of issuing ultimatums, yelling, crying or begging, I presented him with options. I created a summer of fun for our family and welcomed him to share in it, or not — it was up to him. If he chose not to come along, we would miss him, but we would be just fine, thank you very much. And we were.

And, yeah, you can bet I wanted to sit him down and persuade him to stay. To love me. To fight for what we’ve created. You can bet I wanted to.

But I didn’t.

I barbecued. Made lemonade. Set the table for four. Loved him from afar.

And one day, there he was, home from work early, mowing the lawn. A man doesn’t mow his lawn if he’s going to leave it. Not this man. Then he fixed a door that had been broken for eight years. He made a comment about our front porch needing paint. Our front porch. He mentioned needing wood for next winter. The future. Little by little, he started talking about the future.

It was Thanksgiving dinner that sealed it. My husband bowed his head humbly and said, “I’m thankful for my family.”

He was back.

And I saw what had been missing: pride. He’d lost pride in himself. Maybe that’s what happens when our egos take a hit in midlife and we realize we’re not as young and golden anymore.

When life’s knocked us around. And our childhood myths reveal themselves to be just that. The truth feels like the biggest sucker-punch of them all: it’s not a spouse or land or a job or money that brings us happiness. Those achievements, those relationships, can enhance our happiness, yes, but happiness has to start from within. Relying on any other equation can be lethal.

My husband had become lost in the myth. But he found his way out. We’ve since had the hard conversations. In fact, he encouraged me to write about our ordeal. To help other couples who arrive at this juncture in life. People who feel scared and stuck. Who believe their temporary feelings are permanent. Who see an easy out, and think they can escape.

My husband tried to strike a deal. Blame me for his pain. Unload his feelings of personal disgrace onto me.

But I ducked. And I waited. And it worked.
Laura A. Munson is a writer who lives in Whitefish, Mont. 


This thing makes me cry every time I read it.


Funny enough, the first rule of martial arts is: DUCK!


When someone's trying to punch you in the face, DUCK! 


I think this concept is rooted in zen philosophy. Because it's not just about leaving or running away from the fight, but about not participating in the violence. A block or hit to "defend" is still participating in the violence. But when you duck, you're actually staying present, but not contributing to the violence of the situation. 


Violence doesn't really work if there's nothing to push against.


I'm going to try this. A metaphoric duck when life's throwing me seemingly justifiable reasons to fret, worry, stress and suffer. Duck.


Duck!


So, everybody....


DUCK!

Plyometrics

I recently told my father I would email him some of my workout routines that Marcus and I have put together. Marcus puts them together for his martial arts class or to help make my workouts more intense; I’ve put them together because I like variety, and because sometimes I obsess and search workouts on the internet.

So, instead of just emailing him, or rather, emailing my Mother so she can print for him (see the blog Hello? The power of CONNECTING and how technology has changed things for reference on my Father’s computer skills), I decided to write a blog about it...for my Mother to print for him.

This is almost ironic because my early education in fitness was primarily from my Father. He taught me how to ride a bike and lift weights properly. One of his oldest friends had me leading aerobics in gym class at age 12. I swear my Father knew all of the phy-ed (physical education) teachers in the whole city where I grew up. My father’s influence was omnipresent, at least in my formative years around workouts and fitness.

So it’s an interesting flip of roles that I’m now checking in with him on his workouts. That I’m now talking to him about his diet, workout routine and overall health. And of course, it’s no coincidence that the man I’ll likely marry (Marcus) is a serious fitness junkie - though he’s mellowed on his own workout routine in the last few years because his kidneys are napping. In the past, Marcus would train in Jeet Kune Do 2-4 hours a day after an 80-mile bike ride. On the days he didn’t bike, he’d cross train by doing what he called The Bruce Lee workout, which consisted of thousands of kicks, punches, or slips. According to Marcus, Bruce Lee’s notes illustrated Bruce taking a move, like a round-kick for example, and repeating the movement 5000 times. Marcus was a little less ambitious – he only repeated the kicks 1000 times. It’s probably good that Marcus has mellowed.

The truth is, it’s not that my Father doesn’t know what to do, it’s just that...well maybe he doesn’t know what to do about his eating, because since retirement he’s slowly gained weight. But I think he had a routine while teaching, and since he was a fitness teacher (high school, mostly), he was working out throughout the day. As a retiree, his routine is a little more sedentary, to make a gross understatement. He’s still strong as an ox, in fact he lifted 250 lbs on his 70^th birthday, but he carries extra weight, and his blood sugar, as well as his pant-waist size, reflects his more retired lifestyle.

So...I told him he should be getting more out of his workouts and that it’s probable he’s become a bit complacent in his workouts. He replied, true to form and sarcastic, “a little?” Yes, Dad, a little is your influence creeping into my language. (My Father has always had a great sense of humor, annoyingly great at times when he was pointing out his children’s idiosyncrasies.)

So after all of that, here’s a few exercise routines for my Dad or anyone else out there.

Very important FORM note for all exercises:

Feet should be pointed STRAIGHT, stance should be between hip and shoulder WIDTH. We’ll call this balanced stance. (The exception on this is The Crab.) Patella (point just below knee cap), must be over 2^nd toe. KNEES should not pass beyond your TOES. (Your butt has to move backward & torso down to thighs to maintain this proper form. Use a mirror to ensure your knees don’t wobble as you go down. If they do, SLOW DOWN and correct your form. Go SLOW DOWN, and quick UP, if you can. If this still creates a wobble, go SLOW the whole time until you build up strength. This will strengthen your knees & help prevent knee injury. Also, get barefoot-style shoes for your workouts. (I like vibram fivefingers.) This will strengthen your feet, legs and all the very important stabilizer muscles. For squats, imagine a ski jumper or as Marcus likes to say, “knees to boobs.”

For this blog, I’ll share the plyometrics Marcus does before class and recommends for clients. (I do these 3-4 times per week.) For tomorrow’s workout blog, I’ll share my variation on the 300 workout. (The movie 300.)

Sifu’s Plyometrics:

Do each exercise for 30 seconds, then rest for 30 seconds. Marcus calls it 30-30s. Repeat the whole set 2-4 times per workout. You may get sore so the first time you may want to only do 2 sets.

Kick & Twist

Kick with right leg, twist torso toward right leg with left arm swinging forward.

30 seconds for each leg.

Dynamic Lunges

Stand hip-width apart. Step forward into a lunge, be sure your knees bend to 90° angles and not beyond. After lunge push yourself up back to starting position. Switch right and left every other lunge forward.

Switch-step Jump Squat

Start in balanced stance. Step forward 1-foot with the right leg, step backward 1-foot with the left leg, squat down. Jump up, switch your foot position, repeat.

The Heisman

Looks very similar to The Heisman trophy. Side-step dynamically, lifting inside knee to elbow. Keep pelvis tucked and back straight.

The Superman

Start in balanced stance. Squat down, jump up with arms extended toward the sky. Pretend you’re trying to take off like Superman.

The Crab

Wide stance, feet/knees turned out, thighs parallel to the ground. Shuffle to the right starting the shuffle with the left leg, land in the original wide stance. Back straight; hands in prayer pose in front of your chest.

I realize words alone don’t describe this as well as pictures, but we will have pictures, diagrams and video sometime in the near future. Leave a comment if you have questions. These exercises are great because they work on cardiovascular but are also strength-building.

Dad, let me know if you have questions, though I suspect this will be like riding a bike.

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If I were a Ninja, I'd wear these shoes

I wore my vibram five fingers to set yesterday. By set I mean working on a film, television or commercial set where filming is involved. (When prepping a production, we usually call it prep and reserve set for the filming location.

Anyway, I worked on a commercial yesterday, and decided to wear my black, KSO five fingers to set.

I was a boom operator yesterday, and though this position is relatively new to me, I knew the five fingers would do me well because it’s very easy to move stealth (quiet and soft) in these shoes. Also, my feet were tired the first day because I wore some sneakers and by end of day my feet were sore. Ever the physical explorer doing experiments on myself, I decided to wear my five fingers to see how they compared to normal shoes.

Generally, we who work on set often don’t have a lot of time to chit-chat. This is not to say there isn’t down time, which usually happens depending on department so most people tend to bond with their own department - both from working together and from not working together. But most people working on a commercial, especially on a two-day shoot like we were on yesterday, are focused on their jobs, so they don’t comment on each other’s clothing, style or jobs unless it pertains to getting the job done (wardrobe virtually talks about clothing all day long). But yesterday, on a crew of about 30-40 people, at least 20 people stopped what they were doing (when they could) to ask me about my shoes. Now I admit, I knew a few people would ask about them based on reactions to the shoes when I’ve worn them out in public, but it was way beyond my expectations.

So, I’m blogging about these shoes again and answering the most popular and funny questions from yesterday. Also, there’s a video below that talks about what I most often explained to the people who stayed around for more than 2 minutes to talk about my shoes.

Q= Question (obvious, I know)
SA= Short Answer (or Sassy Answer, depending on the questioner)
LA= Long Answer (which happened when people gave me that look – like they wanted to know more)

Q: Are they comfortable?
SA: Yes.
LA: Yes. But I had to get used to them because they’re very similar to walking barefoot, but with a little extra foot protection. But after a month or two the muscles in my feet adapted and I don’t get too sore anymore. Also, I tend to walk more gently, sort of from the front-side of my feet because it’s too much impact to walk heel-toe. Also, I’ve found that they’re more comfortable if I wear them with toe-socks because there’s less abrasion.

Q: What are those shoes?
SA: They’re called vibram five fingers.
LA: They’re supposed to be as close as possible to being barefoot. For 150,000+ years humans did everything barefoot. We evolved that way, and there are theories that a lot of our injuries today are due to the weakness in our feet from over-padding and –protecting them so that we have bad form (and put undo stress on our feet, knees and hips) and compromised feet and leg muscles. If you’re interested in this kind of thing you should read Born To Run by Christopher McDougall.

Q: Can you wear those for surfing?”
LA: Yes, but they have other styles that have neoprene that are better for water sports. These are mesh so water would get into them so they probably wouldn’t work well for keeping your feet warm.

Q: Where did you get those?
SA: Adventure 16
LA: Adventure 16, but you can order them online too. But I’d try them on first to check for size.

(At the end of the day)

Q: Are your feet sore?
SA: Actually, no.
LA: Actually, no. My legs are a little sore from standing all day but my feet feel pretty good.

Q: Are you a ninja?
SA: No.
SA#2: Not exactly, no. But I can kill you with my feet.
SA#3: Ha. No. But I do martial arts in these shoes.
SA#4: If I were you wouldn’t be able to see me, so no.
SA#5: No, but if I were a ninja, I'd wear these shoes. (And I certainly wouldn't be working here...)

So all of this attention on set made me want to blog about it. But I must say, though I was mostly happy to talk about these shoes and how I think they are great and ultimately really great for our bodies, I was slightly shy at time about the attention. When I'm on-stage, it's different. I'm prepared mentally and emotionally for all the attention. I enjoy it even because I understand that my role is to entertain, receive attention and share my gifts with people. But my mode on set is more utilitarian. I feel like it might be further evidence that, even though it was shoe-induced, I should be doing something else besides being a worker-bee on a commercial/television/film set.

A note about procuring a pair of vibram five fingers. It seems these shoes are more popular than vibram anticipated and they’re currently out of stock in a lot of sizes and colors. Supposedly they’re manufacturing more. Also, when I blogged about these shoes back in December, I’d been wearing them primarily without socks and commented that the friction-generated heat during my martial arts training was unpleasant and that my feet would sometimes get cold during cold weather. Both of these issues are virtually eliminated when I wear toe-socks with the shoes. I didn't wear these in extremely cold weather (nothing below 45°), but they were fine with socks for moderately cold weather. If you plan on wearing socks, please keep that in mind when you decide what size to get or try them on (most stores that carry them should also carry toe-socks). With the KSOs, they seem more flexible so the same size is just fine with or without socks. With the FLOWS (neoprene-upper), I’m not sure you’d want to wear socks, but the fit seems more snug. Anyway, toe-socks made already great shoes even better for more active-wear. I’m considering the performa because I want to wear these with outfits where I don’t look like a gorilla or ninja, and the performa seem a bit more feminine. I’m going to go try them on today or tomorrow, but it's worth noting that I don't plan on wearing socks with the performas.

Please post a comment if you have any more questions that weren’t covered by my cohorts on set.

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MY FAVORITE THINGS! - Vibram's Five Fingers

Vibram's Five Fingers.

Barefoot enthusiasts, rejoice!

I first saw Vibram's Five Fingers (VFF) on a woman who was exercising at the Manhattan Beach Sand Dunes (Which have been closed since August 2009 for neighborhood noise/traffic reasons or some such thing. I'll do a FT post on the Sand Dunes sometime soon - maybe when they reopen). I went right out and bought a pair. I highly recommend trying them on at the store for size because they are footwear unlike any other. Though my size was true to what I wear in dress-shoes.

Anyway, the shoes make you feel like you're barefoot. For those who dislike being barefoot, think about it like this, your feet, legs and entire body is brilliantly designed to be barefoot. We've been wearing shoes only a fraction of the time of human existence, and until the last 30 or so years, our shoes have been mostly for protection, not to modify our movement or gate. (Reference: Born To Run by Christopher McDougall - more on the book in a future blog.) With these shoes, we develop muscles in our feet and legs that have been under-used and under-developed because of traditional shoes.

Case and point. This fall I was traveling in the north and went hiking near waterfalls. Down stream the water level was very low so crossing the river over rocks was possible. I observed other people crossing in traditional shoes and they seemed off-balance and slow as they walked over oddly shaped rocks to get to the other side. A few times I thought these people would fall into the cool water. They might have if they didn't have a friend nearby to stabilize on. Now I'm relatively fit, but I know that feeling of walking on rocks and feeling unstable. This was my first time traversing across river-rocks in my VFF. The experience was entirely different. I could feel the rocks and grip them with my feet! I felt like a gazelle elegantly prancing through the field my balance and agility were so keen with these shoes on. It was fantastic.

Now, you may need to get used to them before you run marathons in them. They do take getting used to. Also, the way you step when you walk and run should change. The human foot wasn't meant to walk or run heel to toe, that is symptomatic of ultra-padded running shoes. Check online videos of Tarahumara runners or barefoot running or Kenyan runners. They tend to have more organic and gentle running styles. Wear them for just an hour at a time as your feet and legs build up your natural stabilizer muscles and shock absorbers that have been under-used ever since your parents made you put shoes on to play outside. Do any kids actually like wearing shoes to play? None that I know of.

My only criticisms are the following: I often practice martial arts outside in these shoes, and sometimes the soles of my feet get warm and worn from the friction or rotating on the ground. Also, sometimes my feet get cold. (It's an odd sensation when your feet are generally cold, but the bottoms are hot from friction.) Both things could possibly be cured by wearing thin toe socks. I'll test it out and report back. (Leave a comment if you're impatient to learn how my test goes.) Being barefoot in these shoes is great though. I can really feel all of my movements without compromising a certain level of protection the soles give me (I rarely go barefoot outside these days except on the beach.) All in all, I think a thicker or cold-weather (but breathable) version would be fantastic.

Other than those two relatively minor things, I LOVE these shoes. Well-done Vibram.

If nothing else, check with your local sports store, try on a pair for size and walk around the store a little. It's a unique experience. (You may be able to find better prices online once you know your size.) You're more likely to find them at specialty sports stores that cater to more extreme and serious athletes, hikers, rock climbers and campers. In other words, I don't think Sports Authority carries them, but Adventure 16 might.

Let me know what you think!



(Katie Strand is not sponsored or paid to endorse these shoes. Strand is merely stating an opinion about a public product. No legal copyright or publicity infringement intended.)