He wrote one of my favorite books on art, creativity, and the internal struggles we all, but especially we creative-types, face.
The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles
(link above to book, available from Amazon)
I read Stephen Pressfield's blog today before my workout. I was cycling home from the gym post-workout and thoughts of his blog were loud and present in my mind.
For context, here's an excerpt and link if you want to read more (I highly recommend you subscribe, especially if you're a writer or creative type):
http://www.stevenpressfield.com/2014/09/the-difference-between-14-and-15/
I was talking to a friend at the gym the other day. “How much strength do we all have?” he said. “Think about it: a ninety-five-pound mom can lift a Buick if her baby is underneath it, right? Then why is it so hard for that same woman to lift a 25-pound dumbbell here at the gym on a Tuesday morning?”The answer, my friend said, is that the muscles can but they don’t want to. They resist. They’re afraid of success, afraid of failure, afraid of pain, afraid of the unknown.“What we’re afraid of,” my friend said, “is going from using 14% of our potential to using 15%. For some reason, that increment is totally terrifying, even though there’s another 85% untouched beyond that.”Why is it so hard to get that 1%?We can all agree, I’m sure, that we experience a huge rush of exhilaration when we actually do it.Isn’t that what CrossFit is all about, or extreme sports, or any physical activity that pushes the body and the mind beyond their perceived limits? CrossFit, from what I’ve read, enlists camaraderie, competition, novelty (new exercises, new environments), games, challenges, etc. to inspire its members to go from 14% to 15%. Success becomes addictive. You do it once and you want to do it again.Yet the body resists. The mind resists. The world seems to have been made this way.Gravity doesn’t want us to fly. Death refuses to let us live forever. Fatigue conspires to keep us from true awakeness.The ancient Greeks would describe these forms of resistance as “the jealousy of the gods.” The immortals possess certain powers and gifts, and they don’t like it when we mere humans aspire to them as well.
I quote Stephen Pressfield here, and am so grateful for his blog today because I very recently had one of those days where I was just pissed off and steeped like a smelly old tea bag in resistance.
We recently moved to a brand new city, over 600 miles away from Los Angeles. It's beautiful. In the mountains, lots of nature and trees around, and healthy food (including TWO raw milk farms, yay!) within about 15 miles. Not much in the way of television production work, so we're budget-conscious, but still, the location and environment are amazing and I can't believe it took us so long to vacate the big city!
I've been forming my daily routine, which includes intense interval workouts, meditation, yoga, and creative work - writing, songwriting, re-writing, brainstorming, new idea generation (which is basically just engaging in life and taking notes when an idea hits me), and of course healthy eating and work or work-seeking. (I work freelance in TV/Film so I have quite a lot of freedom and will likely need to travel to work sometime in the coming months).
I'm no stranger to what most people call discipline. Whether it's food or workouts or yoga or meditation, I've been able to form daily routines that have helped me tremendously.
So WHY is it so hard sometimes to maintain and keep doing these things that I know are GOOD FOR ME!?!
Pressfield's blog reminded me that I am not alone. Most human beings experience some level of resistance in their lives. But why? It seems a hinderance, a burden, an annoyance, and especially a fucking pain in the ass for those of us trying to create something in our lives!
Hmm.
Oh, right.
The reason: Human survival
From what I've studied, our ancient bipedal ancestors -- who are virtually identical to modern man within less than 1% margin of evolutionary difference -- experienced resistance to change primarily because... (drum roll)...
CHANGE equals DEATH...
to the reptilian brain stem of our ancestors and US TOO!
Change equals death.
Of course we experience resistance.
My trouble with accepting this is around the fact that I still experience resistance, even when I know, viscerally and with irrefutable evidence, that the thing I aim to do is highly beneficial and healthy for me! Fuck! Why do I still experience resistance?
I'm not facing a saber toothed tiger, wooly mammoth, hypothermia, starvation or anything of the sort. In fact, most of the things I aim to accomplish in any given day are highly enjoyable, even my interval workout (similar to Crossfit but less prone to injury), though challenging, is often pleasant and certainly gives me an endorphin boost.
But still, RESISTANCE!!
So I carry on, doing my darndest to daily show up for myself in ways that I know help me to feel and be healthier, happier, more present, and experience more equanimity.
I also do my darndest to not listen to the reactive, resistant-based voice in my head, aka ego. That beautiful fucker can certainly be tricky and whisper so subtly that I'm often not even aware it's commanding me.
Today, I conquered, subdued or submitted resistance. Honestly, it feels like a glorious day and it's only 4pm.
For the curious, here's my list of daily physical, spiritual, and mental (including emotional) maintenance activities that I intend to do DAILY:
- 60min (or more) physical exercise (excepting 1 day/week off for rest/recovery)
- 15min " meditation
- 30min " creative - writing, songwriting, developing tv show ideas (60min+ ideal)
- 30min " home maintenance/chores
10 min Kundalini (short routine) before meditation
15 min Zen meditation
40 min interval cardio + 30 minutes interval weight-training
60+min Writing this blog & rewriting songs
30 min cleaning, doing dishes
We will see what tomorrow and the following days hold, but I'm intending to see through my own bullshit cloud on resistance-addled days and hold those days as glorious too.
Thank you, Stephen Pressfield, for reminding me of resistance, the reptilian brain and especially for reminding me we are not alone in this!
