Pseudo-Insomnia

I woke up over three hours ago at 4:31am.

4:31am

For no good reason.

With no 6am call time, early-morning romp, or otherwise worthy (albeit annoying in the case of the 6am call) reason to wake up, 4:30 is just, well, silly and frustrating to this fem-bot.

This happens from time to time for me. Nowadays, probably once every 6 months if that. It used to be more frequent.

I take this as a good sign. A sign that I'm either some combination or all of the following:

• Healthier physically, likely due to better nutrition and physical fitness 
• More peaceful, a happy thought indeed, as I recall more restlessness in the past (thankfully in the past)
• Happier in my relationship, because if memory serves, a good percentage of my sleepless nights in the past were due to lying next to an ultimately doomed (albeit a mostly cordial & civilized death) bedmate and/or just waking up wondering what the fuck about whatever relationship was troubling me at the time...
• More spiritually...connected (or something). This one surpasses even the aforementioned past relationship woes and general restlessness, and is the hardest to describe, quantify and understand. Let me 'splain. There is too much. Let me sum up. Basically, I suspect I sleep better lately because I've connected more deeply* with the non-physical.

(*I use the words "more deeply" because to think that I was ever not connected would be a gross oversight. We are always connected it is only thinking we're not that creates the illusion that we can be disconnected from the essence of which all things are made of and a part of.)

So one or more of the above reasons has helped me, tremendously, in sleeping better. None were sought-out or had as a means to the end of sleeping better, it's just a happy side-effect. But tonight, I awoke at 4:30am. 

Why? Not sure yet. What did I do? I read a few pages from two of the books I'm in the midst of reading. Sometimes I read one book at a time; right now I'm reading four simultaneously. Library due dates and my own diffused attention have caused this book-polygamy. My two favorites of the four and my bedfellows of this morning were Bite Me and The Four-Hour Work Week.

After reading, I decided to transcribe the last chapter of the book. The. Book. 

What Women Never Tell You

It's a relationship book about all the things women never tell men, but that are vitally important and that men desperately want to know about how to have more success and better relationships with women. Strong enough for a man, but pH balanced for a woman.

Marcus and I are writing this book together, but I type like a cheeta, and he types like a panda...a panda with one hand full of eucalyptus leaves. So I've assigned myself the typing portion, and we both record the copy for each chapter (which we completed a few months ago).

But let me reiterate. I typed the LAST CHAPTER of What Women Never Tell You just before I started writing this blog for all of you. 

We still have to edit. Of course. And we still need a publisher, though we'll self-publish if necessary until we get a publisher and are on the New York Times Bestseller List.

But I must admit, it feels...odd

Relieved, but also uncertain. Did I really just finish my first book? 

Maybe that's what caused my insomnia today. Something in me wanted to get up and get it done. So, that's what I did.

I thought there'd be more fanfare and fireworks. But right now I'd settle for some more sleep.

Also, for anyone wondering about my marked absence from the blogosphere for the past several months, my writing energy that was reserved in the past for blogging went towards finishing this book. Hopefully I'll be back blogging away to all of you more frequently. But we may also do a What Women Never Tell You blog and we also may start working on our second book. We'll see. But it is good to be back and I hope you've missed me as much as I've missed all of you, and writing for all of you...this kind of writing - as it's more reflective and cathartic than What Women Never Tell You writing.

Though I am very pleased that I just finished the first full draft of my first book. Maybe there'll be fireworks and fanfare when we really finish it - as in the final edit is done and we send it to the printer. Maybe when we get it back from the printer then we'll have a real party.

Ah, hell. How about I just be happy with this stage of accomplishment.

That's better.

I'm feeling kind of sleepy.

Hello? The power of CONNECTING and how technology has changed things

Technology has changed dramatically in the past 50 years. It's easy to forget for anyone under age 35, since we were adapting still to the world while some of the most dramatic changes were occurring. But I'm reminded of how much technology has changed upon any technological interaction with my parents. I adore my parents. More than is probably necessary (as if that's calculable). But, like many of their peers, they are technologically challenged.

My mother checks emails on a daily basis and since she has been a good typist since just after suffrage, and just before computers, she has no problem with that. My father still creates graphs with paper, pen and a ruler. (A younger version of him would probably thrive on excel... Oh, wait. That might be me.) Anyway, I think I've received maybe 2 emails from my father, tops. He doesn't like to type nor does he type well. His primary use for the computer is to play solitaire, though ultimately I think he prefers real playing cards for that.

Aside from computers, my favorite of their techno-shortcomings is they way they use their mobile phone. For the first year of owning a mobile phone, my parents would first look at their ringing phone like they weren't sure it would really work. Then they'd press the answer button very carefully and distinctly. Next they would bring the phone to their ear and say, hello? with a significant upturn at the end of the word... creating a subtext that could only mean, I'm not convinced this will actually work since we're no where near a cord or rotary-phone and there's no operator on the other end of the line, but I'm just going to try it out to see...cuz my kids tell me it works.

While they've mostly gotten over the, hello? syndrome, they still are averse to most newer technology. Neither one text messages nor do they have any interest in a "smart" phone. Can't blame them on that one. The only reason I got one was because of work. I used to like being away from my computer when I was away from it...now I just regulate that by separating myself from my "smart" phone when I'm not actually using it.

Additionally, their aversion to technology makes me think about how technology has affected our lives. Certainly, lives have been saved due to mobile phones providing a link to people in danger or stranded (when they can get a signal, that is). Also, they have probably reduced the amount of murders of stranded motorists accepting rides from predatory strangers (though statistically these deaths were relatively low). I know from first-hand experience that they expedite work on television and film sets, however they also disturb things sometimes...ringing at inopportune times and causing interference with sound systems. But they also seem to have reduced our attention spans, and I think they've expanded the rift between teenagers and well...everyone, as it seems most teenagers have their heads down more than half of their waking hours - either texting, chatting or my/face-networking.

But here's the strangest thing for me. Our primary use of technology, besides for pornography, which still might qualify, is to connect. But we all seem more disconnected. This increased technology seems to have reduced our real, personal interaction. But maybe the sentiment was similar about the telephone... that it would decrease letter writing and the very intimacy, though somewhat delayed, that letter-writing provides in the thoughtfulness that usually goes into letters. I'm the only girl I can think of who actually exchanged loved letters with a recent boyfriend. For my female friends it's been over ten years for most of them since they've written or received any kind of hand-written love letter.

So, what's the conclusion? Barring some catastrophe (which some say is coming between now and 2012), I don't suspect things will change much by way of going back to older forms a communication. Nor do I necessary think they should. But we could all probably stand to look at each other in the eye more. Separate yourself from your mobile phone. Write a letter. Call from a land-line. You're much less likely to drop your call.

But mostly, please remember why this technology exists in the first place. To CONNECT you to people, whether new friends, relatives, acquaintances, or colleagues, who, like it or not, affect and impact your life, and you theirs. Remember this all comes down to CONNECTING.

And for goodness sake, call your parents...but let it ring a few times.

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