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Saturday, October 26, 2013

Giving Up Future-Focus

Recently I realized that most of my life has been conducted with a Future-Focus.

Don't know if anyone else uses that terminology, but I'm coining it now.

Here's the sum-up of how this looked, in snap-shots throughout my life.

As a child, I was future-focused (henceforth FF) on growing up/getting older. Going from grade to middle to high school, then college, then onto a job/career.

Once in the career (music/songwriting as an understudy career; filmmaking as a primary career since it was easier to make money in filmmaking), the FF changed into getting higher positions and/or making more money.

At some point in the last few years I extracted myself from the typical rat-race and went back to school, not to further my career - which I'm sure would've made sense and been more "responsible" - but to improve myself. I got a master's degree in spiritual psychology and certified as a hypnotherapist. Sure, I thought maybe I'd shift careers into one of these professions, but I was also motivated by personal growth and transformation.

Were I outside of myself, I might think those aforementioned pursuits are a bit fluffy and self-indulgent, and while I have moments of pseudo-regret about spending all that education money on those post-grad degrees/certifications, I also feel like they've helped me a great deal in my life. Chances are I would NOT have been ready or even met Marcus had I not done the the MA in Spiritual Psychology. (I met people through the MA that 3 degrees later led me to Marcus.)

(One side-note. I think a great deal of the work done in that master's program should be mandatory education for people. We learn language, numbers, writing, history, but almost nothing about how to deal with the ups and downs, emotional and interpersonal relationships and all that shit that is a part of life for everyone. Here's the bullshit part - the school I went to, while it's great in many ways, it's accredited but not fully, so if I'm not sure I could legitimately teach a college psychology class. That's where most of my regret about that particular program/choice lives.)

But overall, without a doubt, the MA was a good choice.

I finished the MA in 2008, and even though that experience/degree helped me to begin my journey of letting go of the FF, it's taken me the five years since to appreciate why.

Many would say there's nothing wrong with goal setting or planning. In fact, most people would probably say it's a great thing to do!

But that's not what I'm talking about.

I'm talking about being so Future-Focused that we forget to be present. That we forget to live and enjoy and just be.

"Present" is a nice word and it's over-used these days. I wish I could find the clearest and most honest way to describe what I'm trying to express here...

Hmmmm.

Let me try:

Knowing, feeling and understanding what you would like for your future is fine. Being overly attached to it causes problems. Being happy with what is, right now, I believe is the only way to true happiness and contentment.

Maybe by giving up my Future-Focus I'm setting off into the great abyss. The great unknown.

Though I don't think that's true because certainly there are others who've practiced, cultivated and discovered the art of being present and happy now. Many monks, nuns, priests, and famous spiritual teachers talk about this very thing.

But I'm just me. Trying to find my smile, my joy, my bliss, right now... Or better said, trying to live in my smile, my joy, my bliss right now, and now, and....

Now.


I will say this one last thing. There's more love and warmth here, in the now.